Cars and the Man



Dramatis Personae




Cathy Petkoff---his wife  




Bluntly----used-car salesman  


Sergio----law intern/ Snowas fiance   


Louise----Snowas cousin  


Nick-----Petkoffs servant 


Ward Cleaver---neighborhood watch guy 



Act 1 Snowas bedroom. Scene begins in darkness.


[loud noise]


Snowa-- Wh-What! Whos there?   [turns on light]


Bluntly-- Oh! Excuse me. I [1]seem to have fallen in through your window. Shh! Theyre looking for me.


Sn-- Dont Shh me! You must be some sorta pervert, but I can protect myself. [She pulls out a huge black dildo from her bedstand.]


Bl-- My God, whats that?


Sn-- Its my night-stick.


Bl-- But thats a... Um, you dont know what it is?


Sn-- Of course, its a night-stick, and it beats men who come in my room!


Bl-- What my father wouldnt give for a salesman like you!


Sn-- But Im a girl. [She pulls her covers away, revealing large breasts.



Bl-- [blown away]  Im pleased to make your acquaintits, I mean tance, acquaintance.


Sn-- Whos looking?


Bl-- [pulling his eyes up from her breasts] Not me!


Sn-- Whos looking for you?


Bl-- Well, I see for myself, but I swear I wasnt looking. [he looks]


Sn-- Something got you up here.


Bl-- [hands in front of pants] How embarrassing!


Sn-- [noticing a cut on his hand] Did you hurt yourself? Let me see it.


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