Cars and the Man

 

 

Dramatis Personae

 

Petkoff------lawyer/suburbanite

 

Cathy Petkoff---his wife  

 

Snowa-----daughter   

 

Bluntly----used-car salesman  

 

Sergio----law intern/ Snowas fiance   

 

Louise----Snowas cousin  

 

Nick-----Petkoffs servant 

 

Ward Cleaver---neighborhood watch guy 

 

 

Act 1 Snowas bedroom. Scene begins in darkness.

 

[loud noise]

 

Snowa-- Wh-What! Whos there?   [turns on light]

 

Bluntly-- Oh! Excuse me. I [1]seem to have fallen in through your window. Shh! Theyre looking for me.

 

Sn-- Dont Shh me! You must be some sorta pervert, but I can protect myself. [She pulls out a huge black dildo from her bedstand.]

 

Bl-- My God, whats that?

 

Sn-- Its my night-stick.

 

Bl-- But thats a... Um, you dont know what it is?

 

Sn-- Of course, its a night-stick, and it beats men who come in my room!

 

Bl-- What my father wouldnt give for a salesman like you!

 

Sn-- But Im a girl. [She pulls her covers away, revealing large breasts.

 

 

Bl-- [blown away]  Im pleased to make your acquaintits, I mean tance, acquaintance.

 

Sn-- Whos looking?

 

Bl-- [pulling his eyes up from her breasts] Not me!

 

Sn-- Whos looking for you?

 

Bl-- Well, I see for myself, but I swear I wasnt looking. [he looks]

 

Sn-- Something got you up here.

 

Bl-- [hands in front of pants] How embarrassing!

 

Sn-- [noticing a cut on his hand] Did you hurt yourself? Let me see it.

 

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