At a time when radical factions tend to push away from one another, Valentine’s Day has brought together three groups that are often at odds with one another. Protests erupted in India on Valentine’s Day, as radical Hindus of the Shiv Sena Neighborhood Watch Organization and radical Muslims of the Forum Against Social Evil demonstrated outside local restaurants offering Valentine’s Day specials. The Shiv Senas declared, "Death to Valentine's Day" and "People who celebrate Valentine's Day should be pelted with shoes!
American men also protested Valentine’s Day, but more quietly, and without threatening their significant others with shoes. Most men in America took their dates to restaurants and gave them outrageously overpriced costume jewelry imported from India, longing to be hanging out with their Indian counterparts, who were burning Hallmark cards, threatening to trounce couples caught canoodling in public, and generally having a blast rioting. Yes, it is funny to imagine an Indian man saying, “Oh you, stop that canoodling or we will have to be pelting you with shoes!” but the point is well-taken that no man likes Valentine’s Day. However, the fact that hatred for one day can bring people of such diverse beliefs together means that deep down we all love each other just a little bit. And, in some way, isn’t that what St. Valentine’s Day is all about? Well, that, and fellatio.
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