Children are very impressionable, which is why corporate America is producing programs such as Lil’ Einsteins that promote capitalism, fear, and the status quo instead of a progressive ideal that is natural to children. Children should be safe from television shows that force such concepts as racism, waste, objectivity of women, and patriarchy, but with Lil’ Einsteins, none of us are safe.

 

The premise of the television program is for children to fly around in a rocket and save others from around the world with their abilities, especially the ability to “crescendo.” The mission involves the young Americans helping people or animals that are obviously inept, especially since the solution is often very simplistic. This blatant promotion of American global colonialism should have died with Ronald Reagan, but it is promoted as positive to another generation of our youth. The story line involves some sort of mission, militaristic in its overall concept of winning against the axis of evil roadblocks in the children’s way.

Using an inefficient rocket is akin to telling children that their parents are very responsible for driving SUVs with 12-16 MPG ratings, since the rocket likely uses high-propulsion fuel and can’t get more than a mile or so per gallon. Yes, let’s teach the children to jet-set all around the world and solve the problems of others, and when the rocket companies need to get bailed out by the federal government, we’ll do that, too.

Of course, who is the driver and main character of the story? Why, yes, the little white boy is in charge, passing out orders and forcing his will upon the other passengers of the rocket. The black boy, lucky to even be invited along, sits happily in the back of the rocket, never to be trusted with technical activities such as steering. He does, however, get to sit next to the blatantly objectified blonde/blue female character.

Both females are objects to the viewer. The brunette girl has obvious eyelash extenders, and seems to be the white male’s main squeeze. Though obviously annoyed the black male is allowed to sit next to the blonde, the white male controls his emotions, so long as she is not touched. Both females prance around the set and are quite apparently only good as eye-candy.

Magic is what most often helps this crew to accomplish their goals, as opposed to actual talent. This magic is a metaphor for the “magic” of having a rich daddy or the strongest military in the world. As the story unfolds, the informed viewer will see the magic as cheating, but young minds will simply see it as the way things ought to be. Children also learn that success is not about having fun and being happy as youngsters, but about learning useless trivia and listening to classical music composed by dead white men. Lil’ Einsteins should be avoided by all parents who value the natural development of their children. Put on an episode of Scooby-Do and let the kids have fun for a change. Children are very impressionable, which is why corporate America is producing programs such as Lil’ Einsteins that promote capitalism, fear, and the status quo instead of a progressive ideal that is natural to children. Children should be safe from television shows that force such concepts as racism, waste, objectivity of women, and patriarchy, but with Lil’ Einsteins, none of us are safe.

 

 

Nearly News: Satire Stories Seeking Significance 2006-2014