While other auto manufacturers waiver in their support of the war in Iraq, Jeep maintains its support with its 2008 lineup of vehicles. Jeep’s homepage depicts all of its vehicles in a Middle-Eastern desert setting, along with a shovel and pail. The caption reads, “Have fun out there.” Other automobile web pages focus on American roads and fuel efficiency, whereas the Jeep site infers that we should go out there and commandeer our own oil.

The lineup of vehicles also includes some of America’s most supportive names in the war effort, led by the Jeep Liberty. The Liberty ambles along at 15MPG in the city, but gets a big 21MPG in the sand dunes of Iraq. Available colors include Inferno Red, Stone White, and Modern Blue.

The Jeep Patriot, available in Steel Blue for Americans and Surf Blue for hippies, may get better gas mileage, but mainly reminds Americans of their patriotic duty to be patriotic and support the war.

The Jeep Commander reminds Americans of their Commander in Chief and all of his robust qualities. Its 5.7 liter Hemi in 4x4 models gets an impressive 13MPG city and 17MPG highway, which means many of the commander’s friends will be happy to dig up and refine enough oil for you to drive it.

Grandaddy of all Jeep fuel reliance on Middle East oil is the Grand Cherokee. Its name is reminiscent of an oft-idealized time in American history, when the Cherokee tribe was relocated to the pristine lands west of the Mississippi. The SRT Hemi will get a modern Indian traveling across America 11MPG city and 14MPG on the freeway.

Set for renaming are the Compass and Wrangler. Sources close to Jeep indicate the Compass will soon be named the Benchmark, while the Wrangler will become Guantanamo, with a larger version called Guantanamo Enhanced, paying homage to the “enhanced” interrogation techniques used at the prison.

Limited edition Jeeps will also have an option of a gold-encrusted W ‘04 badge on the back.

Nearly News: Satire Stories Seeking Significance 2006-2014