Though he may appear to be a teacher of super-human proportions, Mr. Schraeder, like all super-heroes (and English teachers) has his achilles heel, or tragic flaw, so to speak. Superman has his kryptonite, Wonder Woman has... uh, she doesn't really have anything, and neither does Batman, though he does have some inner-demons. Anyhow, Achilles had one, and so does Mr. Schraeder: Chips and Dip.

More accurately, Mr. Schraeder cannot mix crackers with a specailized German dip without losing all physical control of his back. While Mr. Schraeder was leaning over a party bowl recently, his back went out, a result of his proximity to both chips (crackers) and dip. Once the dip mixes with the crackers, the chemical reaction causes Mr. Schraeder's back to lose all strength, and he goes down like an English teacher in the staff parking lot after an ice storm. Which means he is his own simile, and that might not be possible.

Anyhow, Schraeder was rescued by his friends, but it is likely his sworn enemies Carnivora, Lamb Chop, and Chicken Little all know about his weakness, and will exploit it the next time he faces them in battle. In fact, Carnivoria, his possible high school ex-girlfriend and crime mastermind, has begun importing the German dip in bulk. "You can use crackers with a little dip on them like throwing stars," she said in an exclusive interview. "That Schraeder will never stand a chance now, and then I can rule the world. The world I tell you!" Mr. Schraeder claims he never dated Carnivoria and believes she may be a dillusional woman who hit him in a parking lot a few years ago.

Mr. Schraeder denies being a superhero, and will not provide a photo of himself wearing a mask, so we had to find a spy photo of him. However, we have yet to uncover his superhero name, which means his secret identity is the opposite of all other superheroes. When asked, "If you were a superhero, what would your name be?" Mr. Schraeder replied, "Captain Biblio."

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