I wanna be healthy when I die,

said Julia, contemplating death

by means of liver failure, my own

 

secret choice. That’s pretty funny, ...

 

 

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Archived in my Heart: Love Poems

I Wanna be Healthy When I Die

 

I wanna be healthy when I die,

said Julia, contemplating death

by means of liver failure, my own

secret choice. That’s pretty funny,

when you think about it,

I returned; and she

thought about it and laughed.

You’re right, she noticed,

as she drifted some more;

further out of range on the phone,

but some of her was with me. Like always

I made her feel

her sense of humor was grand,

huge, one might say, like my

desire to have her. Not for

sex or making out, but really

have her. Like something way

deeper than her intellect or her

personality. Why, might you ask,

and I could only say because…

We both see things from the same

eyes, only she doesn’t look as hard. As I

am when I look at her, in thought,

I like to try to think

of her giving herself freely,

then I might wonder if she deserves

freedom, for I’ve been here and I

need. Please, I might beg, but she

won’t hear as her blind ear falls. My way

is the only way she may climb back in

the side-saddle of true love. They all look

for what I claim to look for but I don’t. Sex

is what drives us all to the edge of

sanity, but we miss, citing our

humanity as an excuse.