My Ted Danson hair

Was pushin salt n peppa

And now kickin it

Like Vanilla Ice

Ice, Baby

And I see that bastard

Fixing houses on TV,

Looking a few years

Younger than me,

Wondering if he’s had

A makeover of his own.

I have not,

So I put greasy paste

In my hair that smells

Like old man

And contains enough lead

To kill mice in California

To avoid the hair dye aisle.

But it’s really about dying

And I know that,

So I do it softly and slowly

All to myself.

And not too far from now

My fav 90s references

Will mean as little as me

To everyone left to hear.

Meaning I should bust a move.