Ab Rollers officially renamed Land Fillers,

as they sit lazily in basements,

webs of defeat hanging from lonely

foam-rot covered bars.

The perfect invention to make

the world’s worst

and best exercise easier.

Yet, somehow just as effective.

A perpetual motion machine,

if you will,

(but you never did for more than a month),

now mired without movement.

One last leap of fate,

set out with the Clappers

and George Foreman Grills.

Not even poor folks in pickups

pause in pursuit of a Land Filler

for profit or thirty minutes

to tighter abs.