An SUV for this SOB

And some really cool stuff--

Lots and lots of cool stuff.

The SUV to load it in, to drive in, 

To live in...

A three-car garage

with a house attached. 

Vinyl siding, brick facade -- 

and a pretty wife,

but not too pretty, 

who drives the SUV

instead of me. 

Fancy furniture so we can entertain

all the neighbors we never meet

except for on the street

in the SUV.

An electronic babysitter for the kids

and our quality time. 

Kids like stuff, too. 

The pretty, but not too pretty,

wife works so we can have

all the stuff, kids included. 

Internet access included

with purchase of just about 

everything--including a few

more babysitters. 

Big screens and speakers so

we can go out to the

theater at home. And 

so we can buy

more stuff. 

Power tools to prove

my manhood and

how much money 

we make. 

A leather couch to do our

part in saving cotton and

wool from horrible deaths. 

And some more stuff. 

All-inclusive trips to waterways 

near beautiful places. 

And some more stuff. 

A gun to protect it

all, and time to

enjoy it.