This was written as an entry to a personal trainer contest. I'm sure the people running the contest enjoyed getting this letter a lot more than the others, assuming any of the letters were read and not just selected randomly.

I know that working with a personal trainer is worth quite a lot of money. This suggests to me that you’ve read and will read quite a few really bad essays. I understand completely—I’m an English teacher. You might even be wishing you’d found some other way to find someone as the winner of this competition. For example, you could have had a g-string pose-off and made the choice from there, or you might have gone with the more random closed-eyes-and-index-finger method of finding the recipient of your generous offer. No, you actually have to READ in order to be nice, and I can only imagine what you’re hearing about.

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