Brian Jaeger Unions

As a union member and a teacher, I believed I was getting the shaft back when Wisconsin enacted Act 10. Now that we're about to become a Right to Work state, I find myself wondering how I really feel about unions. Of course, it doesn't really matter how I FEEL about them, does it? Allow me to illustrate why it does and why they won't win.

Just to be clear, I did get screwed over by my own union because it offered nothing to help me when I got laid off. But that's not most people, so I will disregard it for this article. The point isn't what unions don't do; rather, it's what union leaders, members, and supporters do do. Case in point, when Act 10 passed in Wisconsin, limiting the rights of mainly teachers, the union organized huge rallies, invited all the usual suspects, and talked the same talk as always. Chanting something about solidarity at a protest is like preaching to the choir. Having a burned-out 60s band perform at a rally is like preaching to the tree-hugging, high as hell choir. The same people that figured out a way to help get a black man elected president couldn't figure out how to fight fire with fire? Cotton candy, instead?

Whenever teacher union leaders speak, they look like they just rolled into the union office after teaching at a freakin middle school all day. Maybe some of them had, but the IMAGE others receive is what's important here. My teachers' union looked like it was run by a bunch of teachers. The other side had beautiful people as figureheads. We love our former teachers, but we love beautiful people even more, and in a more lustful and meaningful way. There are so many hot, young, union-supporting college girls that would just need to shave and take a shower in order to get the talking heads and spinning heads to take notice, but unions instead hire old hippies with streaky gray hair and antiquated glasses to spew on about something no one's even listening to. I mean, Matt Damon couldn't even save WEAC from blowing the opportunity to bury Scott Walker. Matt Beautiful Damon!

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